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Astrology: When Is A Bad Time To Marry Nicolas Cage?

One of the great things you can do with astrology is called “electional astrology.” Think about it: some people are more successful than others at some things. A successful salesman probably has a birth chart with a strongly placed Mercury (communication) and some indicators of an outgoing and personality and charm. Likewise, any event that has a distinct beginning in space and time has a birth chart.

There is a whole set of rules for when the best time is to perform a wedding ceremony. Last Saturday, for example? The transiting Moon was opposite Uranus. Transiting Venus was square Mars. Transiting Mercury was still retrograde, and it was conjunct Neptune. Although no one of these aspects are a complete deal-breaker for having gotten married last Saturday, but under those circumstances the bride and groom should have a very distinct look at what their transits were like at the time.

Now suppose specifically you wanted to marry Nicolas Cage last Saturday. Not only would all of the above circumstances be in effect, but transiting Jupiter would be closely conjunct his Ascendant. That means Jupiter was opposite his Descendant, the point in the birth chart most often associated with marriage. Again, not a deal-breaker… but perhaps an indicator that the urge to get married was stronger than common sense.

Furthermore, transiting Saturn, Pluto, and the South node were all quincunx Cage’s descendant. The transiting Moon was passing through Nick’s 12tb House, which indicates that unhelpful psychological processes may have been at work. The transiting Moon was approaching Nic’s Neptune, which indicates a possible opportunity for heavy drinking… and transiting Mercury (retrograde) conjunct Neptune trine Nic’s natal Neptune is another indicator that maybe Nick was too drunk to be thinking properly, got married on a whim, and is now regretting it. (Bonus Points: Mercury is the ruler of Cage’s Descendant).

And that, of course, is exactly what happened last week when Nick married his longtime girlfriend Erika Koike in Las Vegas. They were sighted in public mere hours afterwards arguing and apparently intoxicated.

Nick has filed for an annulment now, claiming that was intoxicated at the time and that he “reacted on impulse and without the ability to recognize or understand the full effect of his actions.” he also says that Erika didn’t “disclose the full nature and extent of her relationship with another person,” or her criminal history.

So, if you’re out there reading this Nick… and if you ever want to get married again… give me a call and we’ll figure something out. Just make sure you’re sober for it, okay?