Stupid Garbage Venus: Awesome Money-Making Ideas!

May 9, 2020, in Astrology, Current Event

(CLICK HERE for the introduction to this series)

Venus is in rough shape this month, and it hasn’t even gone retrograde yet. This has a lot of implications for all things ruled by Venus. This is terrible news, but not because Venus is one of those heavyweights like Saturn or Uranus when they go astray. It’s terrible because if you owned a shop that sold “all things ruled by Venus,” you’d be really, really popular.

I’ve decided that, rather than give you the usual cautions around an impaired Venus, I’m going to give you practical tips on how to deal with these times by doing deliberately-stupid Venus-related things. Hey, it’ll be a lot more fun than making doomed plans and watching them crash and burn, right?

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START YOUR OWN ONLINE BUSINESS!

-Open an account on eBay, Etsy, or any site where you can set up a virtual “shop.”

-Name a product that’s in demand lately. Hand sanitizer, masks, toilet paper, Remdesivir, and shotguns are all popular lately.

-Illustrate your product with pictures of some sort of animal, religious figure, or basically anything that has nothing to do with the product you’re “selling.”

-For a product description, copy and paste a paragraph or two from a random Wikipedia entry, like “The History Of Tonga.”

-Put a ridiculously high price on your “product.”

-Repeat all the above steps until your “shop” has at least a half dozen “items” to sell.

-Sit back and wait two weeks, during which nothing will sell.

-Apply for Small Business Relief from the government. List any pets as “employees” you’ll have to lay off if you don’t get your bailout.

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See? Wasn’t that a whole lot of futile, pointless fun? Hey — at least you didn’t waste your money on something you thought might actually work, right?

NEXT TIME: Screw up your love life, Stupid Garbage Venus style!

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.