Mercury Gets Drunk In Pisces, Turns Retrograde: Some Text Messages

Feb 16, 2020, in Astrology, Current Event

Feb 16, 2020 Mercury Retrograde
MERC: Hey Venus! Just went retro, having a blast!
MARS: This is Mars, dumbass.

Feb 17, 2020 Mercury quintile Mars
MERC: Okay, so what does a “quintile” mean?
MARS: In theory it means “a talent for creative communications.”
MERC: Cool! I’ll try that. Where’s the eggplant emoji?
MARS: Go away Mercury.

Feb 18, 2020 Mercury semi-sextile Venus
MERC: Hey Venus honey, what’s a semi-sextile?
VENUS: Basically, it’s a minor but pleasant aspect, possibly involving loved ones, but doesn’t guarantee success.
MERC: Okay. That reminds me… did you get those flowers I sent?
VENUS: Stop it. I told you I’m not interested.

Feb 19, 2020 Mercury semi-square Saturn
MERC: Hey, I heard that the semi-square is sort of a minor annoyance. Is that true?
SATURN: Leave me alone, I’m busy ruining someone’s life right now.

Feb 23, 2020 Mercury semi-square Pluto
MERC: Hey, I heard that the semi-square is sort of a minor annoyance. Is that true?
PLUTO: As God is my witness, if you don’t stop asking questions you could look up the answer to yourself, I’m going to come over there with a baseball bat.

Feb 25, 2020, at 8:45 PM Sun conjunct Mercury
MERC: Man, It’s too hot for me to work properly. Can you turn it down?
SUN: No.

Feb 26, 2020, at 12:58 AM Mercury sextile Mars
MERC: Hey, I found that eggplant emoji and I feel like expressing myself!
MARS: Great. Go bother Venus with it.

Feb 26, 2020 Mercury semi-square Venus
MERC: Is now a good time to write you a love letter?
VENUS: I TOLD YOU I’M GETTING A ROOT CANAL TODAY LEAVE ME ALONE

Feb 28, 2020 Mercury sextile Uranus
MERC: Hey, want to try some creative communication today?
URANUS: Sure. Turn off your phone and send me telepathic messages instead. Let’s see if it works!

Mar 4, 2020 Mercury sextile Venus
MERC: Finally! A good time for us to get creative with each other!
VENUS: Great! Let’s pretend we don’t know each other
MERC: Hi, my name is Mercury. I’d like to talk to you.
VENUS: Go away. I don’t talk to strangers.

Mar 7, 2020 Mercury semi-square Mars
MERC: I’d like to hear your thoughts about the semi-square being a minor annoyance.
MARS: I’d like to hear the sound you’d make while a shark eats you, but hey, we can’t always get what we want, can we?

Mar 10, 2020 Mercury Retrograde ends
MERC (group text): Sorry about all the annoyances lately, guys. I was going through a rough patch. All is forgiven?
(six hours later)
MERC (group text): Guys? Guys…?

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.