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Happy Birthday America! Here’s Your Astrology Reading!

Happy 244th birthday, America! You don’t look a day over 150!

A lot of people like to get a reading around their birthday. Heck, sometimes I even throw out a discount for those. But for you my friend, this year? You get a freebie. And frankly, I think it’s because you need it.

You’ll notice I’m using what’s called the “Sibley chart.” There’s been a fair amount of disagreement over the years about what your time of birth is, but this one seems to work the best. Some astrologers might argue that with me, but since there’s already enough arguing about stuff going on in the world, I don’t think I’ll participate.

First of all, there’s an Eclipse landing right on your Sun in time for your birthday. Eclipses can be a little scary. That’s because they provide surprises. Just keep in mind that some surprises are actually good, and don’t panic. But it could easily have an effect on how you see yourself.

I’m a little more worried about Mars. Specifically, both Mars in your birth chart and by transit this year. Mars is going to be in Aries until January. Crazy, I know, right? Although that will do some good things for you, it’s also going to be square your natal Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter between now and early 2021. That’s going to make for an awful lot of agitation. And admit it, you’ve been pretty agitated lately.

Transiting Uranus is also square your North and South Nodes. This implies a certain breaking of long-standing karma or behavioral patterns. Any of that going on down there lately?

Mostly though, by annual profection, you are entering a Mars year. That makes everything Mars-related of added significance to you between now and your next birthday… which is when your Pluto Return will really start kicking in. Ouch.

So, to be honest? Good luck holding it together down there. I have a lot of faith in you. When you get right down to it, we admire and respect you. You’re the only nation on Earth that had both the brains and the gumption to put people on the Moon and get them back safely, and yet have the determination required to make and then sit through hundreds of hours of YouTube videos claiming it was all a hoax. You see, America? You can achieve whatever you want to!

Just, please, do me a favour: come back alive and in one piece next year and I’ll give you another birthday reading,