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Let’s All Use Venus Square Uranus Poorly And Unwisely!

For the next week or so, Venus square Uranus will be in effect. Venus in Leo tends to be bold and dramatic in its expressions. Uranus in Taurus is probably best described as “obnoxiously weird.” Normally this would be a time to be cautiously optimistic about new affections, or maybe try out some new things in your diet and love life.

But, keep in mind that the square aspect is unstable. Of late, so am I. So, to hell with the practical Venus-related advice… let’s just do what Uranus really loves doing best, and take some Venus-related things and play with them until they break!

ROMANCE

Send a nude selfie to your Significant Other. Wait fifteen minutes and then apologize, and ask to have it sent back so that your Significant Other no longer has it.

FASHION

Buy yourself a stylish long-sleeved top. Improve it by gluing bicycle horns under the armpits. Advertise your fashion design services by walking down the street and flapping your arms at people.

DIET

Begin a low-carb, high nutrition diet, but improve it! Every night while preparing that dinner salad, order a medium pizza but request that it not be cut into slices. When it arrives, dump your salad onto the middle of the pizza. Fold the pizza in half and eat it like a taco.

CREATIVITY

Thwart that feature in WordPress that insists your work sucks because it’s at least 300 words long but “doesn’t have enough subheadings” by deliberately crafting an 80s-style Mad Magazine list of barely-connected jokes.

INCOME

Write a feature for an astrology-based site. Complain about how there’s nothing new to write about this week. Come up with an 80s-style Mad Magazine list of jokes based on one astrological aspect. Keep going until you hit your contractually-obligated 300 word minimum, then call it a day!