Newsroom

Astrology, John Allen Chau, And The Power Of Jupiter In Sagittarius

Jupiter in Sagittarius! What a great time to be optimistic about your beliefs!

***

John Allen Chau (born December 18th 1991, time unknown, Vancouver Washington) was a young and enthusiastic Christian missionary. Like many a Sagittarius, he was convinced that he had uncovered one of life’s great Truths and wanted to share it with the world. Thus, he endeavored to bring the message of Jesus to some of the world’s most remote and uncontacted people. Most people have never even heard of the Andaman islands, but there was John: handing out Bibles and shouting to the natives (in English of course) about the love of God’s only begotten Son.

Last week, John’s self-directed mission brought him to North Sentinel Island, home of the world’s least well-understood tribe. The Sentinelese tribe has allegedly being separated from the mainstream of humanity for over 50,000 years, so isolated that any contact with modern human beings might mean their extinction. You see, whereas you and I are the product of thousands of years of exposure to colds and flus and poxes and other diseases, any modern sniffle might potentially spell the end of these people.

We don’t know what if anything the natives of North Sentinel Island understand about immunology, but in light of this, their habit of killing anyone who attempts to land on their island makes a certain amount of sense.

On Wednesday, John arrived at the island on a fishing boat. He pulled close to the island in his kayak, not actually intending a landing because he knew of the reputation these people had. Armed with the Bible, some gifts, and a firm conviction in his beliefs, John shouted at the natives (in English of course). “My name is John, I love you and Jesus loves you.”

John returned with an arrow injury. This would be enough for most people, but since John had his Sun, Mercury, and Mars all in Sagittarius, and Jupiter had just recently entered Sagittarius, optimism ruled the day. So naturally he went back to the island on Friday. That was the day transiting Mercury was square John’;s natal Jupiter, and there was a Moon-Mars conjunction square his natal Pluto. Rather than simply approach the island closely again, John decided to make landing.

The last anyone saw of John, the people of North Sentinel Island were dragging his corpse around on the beach, where they buried him.

***

Jupiter in Sagittarius! What a great time to be optimistic about your beliefs!