Newsroom

Astrology, Neptune In Pisces, And Coronavirus, Part One: Time To Panic?

A regular client of mine is in the habit of emailing me blogs and social media posts by other astrologers that send her into a panic over something or other that’s in the news at any given time. For the most part, these are easily dismissed as either simple misunderstandings or outright fear-mongering by the astrologers in question.

Today I would like to present to you a specific example of a particularly nasty, mean-spirited, and lunk-headed example of this from one astrologer. Although, in this case, the term “astrologer” does not apply so much as the term “frequently incorrect blowhard, barfing up silly hogwash.” I’ll just call him “FibBash” for short.

Here are some of the comments FibBash appended to a news story on the outbreak and spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus:

“The fears are REAL, and EVERYBODY should be well prepared for a total epidemic/pandemic. Stock market crash is inevitable, so SELL SELL SELL your shares while you still can!”

First of all, it’s unethical as hell to make people panic and tell them to sell their shares, especially when you’re a FibBash who has never, ever posted anything on financial astrology at all. Even a financial astrologer who induces a panic over one single planetary placement is almost certainly going to be wrong. Astrology is complicated, and the stock market even more so.

Second, a little Google time reveals that although pandemics aren’t necessarily good for the stock market, there are plenty of things that have done much worse things to share prices.

“There is one, and only one, astrological culprit for this: NEPTUNE IN PISCES. According to the reputable and highly esteemed Rulership Book by Rex E. Bills, flues are ruled by Neptune (page 50, also page 69 under ‘influenza’).”

For someone who often claims to know a lot of stuff about medicine (and sometimes bills himself as “a Doctor,” FibBash should know that the Wuhan coronoavirus is not “a flu.” Also, the plural of “flu” is “flus.” “Flues” is the plural of “flue” — the duct the smoke goes up from a fireplace.

And speaking of “blowing smoke”: the idea that a raging epidemic (or anything else) is the result of “one astrological culprit” is pure nonsense. It displays a total disregard for both astrology and common sense. Does everyone talk too much when Mercury is in Gemini? Does everyone turn into a raging maniac when Mars is in Aries? Did everyone die on a foreign vacation when Pluto was in Sagittarius?

I’m already well over my word count here, so please: come back tomorrow when I will dismiss The Curse Of FibBash by using the most arcane and obscure of The Dark Arts: common sense, and a little math. But not too much math. I wouldn’t want to scare you.