Mercury Retrograde, Day One: A True Story

Oct 31, 2019, in Astrology, Current Event

Not too long after Mercury turned retrograde this morning, I got a phone call. Here’s how it went…

TELEMARKETER: hello Matthew, this is Sandra from ______ Identity Protection Services. This call may be monitored or recorded for customer service and/or training purposes. We are a third-party company affiliated with your bank, ______. I’d like to talk to you today about our services that can help protect you from identity theft on the internet.

ME: So just to clarify… you aren’t actually with ______ Bank, but you’re sort of a subcontractor.

TELEMARKETER: That is correct. Are you familiar with the considerable risks involved with placing your personal and banking information on the internet?

ME: I am.

TELEMARKETER: Then I’m sure you understand how important the protection we are offering you is. (goes on at length about the terrible things that can happen when your identity is stolen). We can get started right away, at our introductory rate of only $15.99 a month. First, I’ll need your full name as it appears on your bank account…

ME: So let me get this straight. You got my information from my bank, but you need my name as it appears there. Also, you’re calling me on a different phone number than the one my bank has. You do realize this doesn’t make you sound very legit, right? Is any of this information available on my bank’s website?

TELEMARKETER: Well, as a third party affiliate to ______ Bank, no. But if you’d like to look at our website, the address is www…

ME: You do realize that it’s possible that if I go to your website, you could place some malware on my computer, don’t you? Even just by visiting your site, you’ll have my IP address.

TELEMARKETER: Ummm…

ME: I really hope that this call was recorded and that there was a supervisor listening in, because if you are attempting to protect me against identity theft, you are using techniques identical to those an identity thief would use.

TELEMARKETER: Ummm…

(click)

***

After the call I did a little digging around. It turns out that the company in question may in fact be legitimate. They are just unintentionally using identity theft techniques to prevent people from identity theft.

Have fun at work during the next three weeks, Sandra!

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.