Rebranding Gemini

May 21, 2019, in Astrology

(SCENE: a corporate board room. CASTOR and POLLUX, the Gemini Twins, face each other at the conference table)

CASTOR: I don’t like a lot of the negative things I’ve been seeing out there about us.

POLLUX: Well, you know how it is… haters gonna hate.

CASTOR: True. But still, I think we should put on a PR push. Maybe… a name change!

POLLUX: Rebranding! I love it! What did you have in mind?

CASTOR: Hmmm. Instead of “Gemini,” how about… Funzilla?

POLLUX: Hmmm. We are fun, but that doesn’t help with the “lacking depth” thing we get hit with sometimes. Maybe… Thinkmaestro?

CASTOR: Oh, good! But, maybe not fun enough.

POLLUX: Twinpixie?

CASTOR: Sounds too much like a prescription drug. Doublebrain?

POLLUX: Too “split personality” for me. Cantdecide?

CASTOR: Me neither.

POLLUX: No, I meant “Cantdecide” as a… never mind.

CASTOR: Charmayak?

POLLUX: Too Pokemon.

CASTOR: I know! Mastermind!

POLLUX: Not Pokemon enough. Hmmm… Multitool?

CASTOR: Let’s avoid anything with “tool” in it. Oh, oh, I’ve got it! It’s perfect!

POLLUX: Oh, tell me! Tell me!

CASTOR: How about… The Sign That Makes The Right Choice Quickly And Always Sticks With It?

(SCENE: A darkened bedroom. GEMINI sits up in bed suddenly, startled)

GEMINI: Well, that was weird. I wonder what it meant…? (GEMINI pauses to consider, then picks up the cell phone) Siri, send a text message to all my contacts.

SIRI: What do you want to say?

GEMINI: Hey everyone, exclamation point. It’s my birthday, and you’re all invited to my place this Saturday at 7 PM for an awesome party and rebranding session, exclamation point.

(GEMINI sits in silence for a while, thinking)

SIRI: Are you done, or would you like me to send that?

GEMINI: You know Siri… I’m just not sure.

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.