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The Astrology Of How Bella Thorne Screwed Up Onlyfans For Everyone

First, some definitions:

-“Bella Thorne” (born October 8th 1997, time unknown, Pembroke Pines Florida) is an actress and model who appeared for three seasons on a Disney channel show, has done some modelling, and made some unremarkable film appearances. She is considered to be what’s called a “social influencer.” In other words, she’s mostly famous-for-being-famous.

-A “sex worker” is a person who provides sexual services in exchange for money, whether in person, on the phone, or via the Internet.

-“Onlyfans” is a subscription service where, for X number of dollars a month, you can follow the work of an independent contractor (most of whom are sex workers) whose work you enjoy. For example, suppose your particular kink is watching naked women eat. For $20 a month you can subscribe to “Nancy The Naked Nutritionist”and her Onlyfans page. If your specific kink is “watching a naked woman wearing a Viking helmet eating a slice of lemon meringue pie while moaning your name,” you can pay Nancy extra for a specific video of that.

I made Nancy up, but frankly I’ll be really surprised if there aren’t at least three people on Onlyfans already doing something like that.

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Like many people born between 1990 and 1998, Bella Thorne is currently experiencing transiting Saturn passing over her natal Neptune. This can often be a time of depression, or of somehow having your dreams go wrong, or have them crushed.

Bella join Onlyfans this month, offering only suggestive poses and skimpy clothing. She quickly became the first person to earn one million dollars in the first 24 hours on this platform, and made two million dollars in less than a week. That’s all fine and well, but she promised fully nude photos for $200. Those who paid the $200 only received pictures of her in lingerie.

The ensuing tidal wave of charge-backs has now apparently resulted in Onlyfans changing their payment policies. Onlyfans has placed a $50 cap on pay-per-view posts, and a hold on payments that will force some creators to wait a month before they get their money. Bella has apologized, saying that she just wanted to bring attention to sex workers, and to combat the stigma associated with sex work. Onlyfans has denied that this incident has anything to do with the new limits. A lot of people, myself included, figure they’re lying.

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I hear a lot of people wishing that things would “go back to normal” once this whole covid-19 thing settled down. I personally think that the “old normal” was overrated. But to be honest? This is the only time I have ever felt compelled to write about Bella Thorne, and with luck I can go back to the “old normal” of never having to do so again.