The Solar Eclipse In Cancer Kills COVID-19 Forever! Hooray And Amen!

Jun 20, 2020, in Astrology, Current Event

Last time, I poked fun at a professional… um, scientist I guess?… who made the bold claim that the predicted end of the world in December 2012 (the end of the Mayan calendar) was actually going to happen last week. Since that prediction boldly refused to come true, I’ve decided to climb out of my bunker and, in the spirit of Mercury retrograde, provide some good news. Unfortunately, that “good news” is just as bogus as the Apocalypse I wrote about last time.

According to the several India-based web sites, Dr KL Sundar Krishna, Nuclear and Earth Scientist (I looked him up, he’s real) who claims that the impending (as of this writing) Solar Eclipse at 0 degrees Cancer will be the end of the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Dr Krishna says: “Since December 2019, coronavirus has surfaced to perish our lives. As per my understanding, there is a planetary configuration with new alignment in the solar system after December 26, when the last solar eclipse occurred.”

Okay, so far, so astrological-ish-sounding. But then…

“The virus has occurred from the upper atmosphere due to the inter-planetary force variation, a new alignment in which the Earth has created a conducive atmosphere. For the first neutrons (with no charge in nature), are coming out of most fission energy from the sun.”

Whoa. Hold up there, dude. I’m no astrophysicist, but I know enough about the subject to have some questions. Like, what the heck is an “inter-planetary force variation”? And also, “fission energy from the sun”? Anyone who remembers primary school space science knows the Sun works via nuclear fusion, not fission. The two things are literally the opposite of each other.

There’s more, but I’ll spare you. Let’s assume that this is all a result of some epic Mercury retrograde mis-translation that’s making an actual scientist sound like someone selling crystals at your local New Age shop who’s misquoting a Ramtha enthusiast who channelled Stephen Hawking while on ayahuasca and got it totally wrong. Why will this Eclipse be the end of the coronavirus?

Because the Sun has a “corona” (Latin for “crown”) of heated gas around it that’s normally only visible during a Solar Eclipse. A coronavirus has a “crown” of surface projections on it.

So, therefore… um… what?

“We do not have to panic as this is a natural process happening in the planetary configuration. The sunlight and solar eclipse will be its natural remedy for this virus.”

Oh, shut up, Dr. Krishna. None of the 2002-2004 Eclipses killed off the SARS coronavirus. But take heart, everyone! We’ll get through this… because the only thing that refuses to eventually die is human stupidity.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I feel the need to make a case of Corona beer mysteriously vanish…

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.