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Your Zodiac Symbol Has Changed: Sagittarius

The Secret Masters Of Astrological Knowledge (SMOAK) have declared that the traditional symbols for all twelve Zodiac Signs will be replaced and updated effective November 1st of this year. Yes, we know. It’s been a difficult year where everything has changed and little or none of it is change you asked for. You know, that’s just how life is. At least that whole “murder hornet” thing hasn’t really hit so far, has it? So quit griping. Things could obviously be plenty worse. Don’t make us come over there and change your whole birth chart. We could do that if we wanted to, you know.

THE SIGN: Sagittarius(November 21 – December 20)

FORMER SYMBOL: The Centaur

WHAT THE FORMER SYMBOL GOT RIGHT: Combines the wisdom and intelligence of a human with the drive of an animal, except in those cases when it’s the other way around. Loves the feeling of the open road or simply wandering aimlessly in the forest. Ready to leave at the drop of a hat.

NEW SYMBOL: The Squirrel (various members of the family Sciuridae)

WHAT THE NEW SYMBOL ADDS: Often appears to be busy even when it isn’t really doing anything. Generally peaceful and well liked, except when it suddenly gets it into its head that someone or something is a potential threat or enemy. At this point the squirrel will run around barking at the top of its lungs until the threat either goes away, or the squirrel feels that it has made its point and won the argument.

Squirrels have the wisdom and insight to start stashing food in the fall, so that there is plenty on hand in the winter. However, at least one study has shown that squirrels end up forgetting where at least half of those stashes are. No one ever accused a squirrel of being focused or good with details.