Your Zodiac Symbol Has Changed: Scorpio

Oct 28, 2020, in Astrology

The Secret Masters Of Astrological Knowledge (SMOAK) have declared that the traditional symbols for all twelve Zodiac Signs will be replaced and updated effective November 1st of this year. Yes, we realize that updating your t-shirts and your coffee mugs will all be a fair amount of work and/or expense. But imagine the thrill of seeing someone who is the same Sign as you who hasn’t gone to the same trouble, and is stuck with their outdated symbolism! You’ll be able to point and laugh and tell them how terribly out of date they are. That should be worth something, shouldn’t it?

THE SIGN: Scorpio (October 23 – November 22)

FORMER SYMBOL: The Scorpion

WHAT THE FORMER SYMBOL GOT RIGHT: Highly durable and difficult to stomp out. Able to survive under very difficult circumstances. Generally won’t bother you if you don’t bother it, but if you do? The scorpion can respond with potentially deadly force.

NEW SYMBOL: The Emerald Cockroach Wasp (Ampulex compressa)

WHAT THE NEW SYMBOL ADDS: The emerald cockroach wasp has a fascinating way of reproducing itself. The female emerald cockroach wasp will take on a cockroach (which is much larger than here). The wasp stings the cockroach twice. The first sting is in a specific portion of the cockroache’s nervous system, causing paralysis. Once that’s done, the wasp delivers a second sting to a very specific portion of the cockroach’s brain that controls the “escape reflex.” Then the wasp cuts the cockroache’s antennae in half and drinks some of its blood (“hemolymph” since it’s an insect). The wasp drags the cockroach back to its burrow and lays some eggs on it. Those hatch in about 3 days, and then the larvae spend a few days eating cockroach.

“Hey, what’s with this horrible morbid crap?” many of the Scorpios out there are yelling. Not so fast buddy: put the machete down. If you’re offended, you’ve missed the central point. Scorpios have actually found a use for cockroaches. COCKROACHES! No one likes cockroaches. Entomologists might say they do, but they’re probably lying. Seriously. Has the emerald cockroach wasp done anything to you? No. Now: how do you feel about cockroaches?

Thought so.

 

Matthew Currie

Matthew Currie is an astrologer, counselor and writer with over 25 years of experience and numerous appearances on television, radio, and podcasts. He is the author of "Conquer The Universe With Astrology," (available on Amazon) and is available for private consultations. Send him an e-mail (astrologyshow@gmail.com). Matthew likes hearing from you.

He also predicted that yes, you WOULD end up here reading this.