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About That Time Mercury Retrograde Nearly Destroyed The World
Mercury retrograde is still in effect. By this point, odds are reasonably good that you’ve experienced some version of what usually happens at a time like this. Your package didn’t arrive, you locked your keys in the car, you submitted something to your boss that was in desperate need of proofreading, or something like that.…
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The Solar Eclipse In Cancer Kills COVID-19 Forever! Hooray And Amen!
Last time, I poked fun at a professional… um, scientist I guess?… who made the bold claim that the predicted end of the world in December 2012 (the end of the Mayan calendar) was actually going to happen last week. Since that prediction boldly refused to come true, I’ve decided to climb out of my…
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Oh Great, Another End Of The World!
It makes me sad when people are constantly holding out hope for something — to the point their personality starts to revolve around it — only to be repeatedly disappointed. There’s one subset of these people I don’t have sympathy for: people cheering for the end of the world. You know the kind of thing…
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Mars And Neptune Conjunct In Pisces: A Conversation
(SCENE: The Sign of Pisces. MARS approaches NEPTUNE) MARS: Hey, good to see you again buddy! How long has it been? NEPTUNE: December 2018, as I recall. MARS: Right! What was happening back then? NEPTUNE: Protests in Paris that got some people killed and a measles outbreak, among other things. MARS: Ah yes… (sarcastically) how…
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An Important Message From Your Friend, Mercury
To my dear friends on Earth, but particularly to those in America: Hi. I’m Mercury, the planet that rules thinking and logic and language and stuff like that. I am in what’s called my “shadow period” right now. That’s what happens before I go retrograde (which will be happening on June 18th). I might be…
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Omar Jimenez: Arrested Under A Void Of Course Moon
Like many American reporters, Omar Jimenez was busy last Thursday night and Friday morning. Omar (born November 27, 1983, Worcester Massachusetts) was on the scene in Minneapolis, covering the riots there happening in the wake of the death of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer, for the crime of (allegedly) having a…
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Why George Floyd Died.
Why did George Floyd die on Monday, after being arrested on suspicion of trying to use a $20 counterfeit bill? To be honest, I’ve been unable to find a date of birth for him, so we can’t go by that. But we do have a “birth date” for the City of Minneapolis, where he died.…
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Stupid Garbage Venus, And Your Love Life: Talking To Your Ex
Welcome to “Stupid Garbage Venus,” in which I lament the current state of the planet Venus. Venus is currently both retrograde and square Neptune — thus, “stupid garbage Venus.” To mark this occasion, instead of the usual warnings, I am issuing deliberately bad advice on Venus-related matters. CLICK HERE for the introduction to this series,…
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Mars In Pisces 2020: You’ll Eat It, And You’ll Like It
Mars is now in Pisces and will be there until June 27th. Under normal circumstances, I’d be talking about how Mars in Pisces isn’t the greatest of placements. After all, Mars wants action (violent if necessary), and Pisces is often a little too sensitive for its own good. However, since we all live on Bizarro…
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Stupid Garbage Venus: Awesome Money-Making Ideas!
(CLICK HERE for the introduction to this series) Venus is in rough shape this month, and it hasn’t even gone retrograde yet. This has a lot of implications for all things ruled by Venus. This is terrible news, but not because Venus is one of those heavyweights like Saturn or Uranus when they go astray.…